Dear Internet: 5 things I am not here for

Dear Internet,

All over the blogosphere, people are putting up posts called “Five Things I’m Not Here For.” I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon.

I am not here for…

1. Fake Frank Ocean Twitter Accounts Like Steen Fox, I’m sick of this. Forget his sexuality, Frank Ocean brought a bunch of fakes out of the closet. While the real Frank Ocean posts short, enigmatic Tweets, I am assaulted with fake RTs from fake Frank Oceans with Tweets swiped from the Top Tweets list. On that note, I’m not here for illiteracy. Seriously, @frank_ocaen? Really y’all?

2. Fake Will Smith Twitter Accounts The only verified Will Smith on Twitter plays for the New Orleans Saints. The actor does not tweet. Yet about 250,000 people follow a handful of fake accounts. Among fake Will Smith’s followers are E! News, who quoted “him” for a Trayvon Martin story. That’s just lazy.

3. Fake Will Ferrell Twitter Accounts Okay, aren’t these supposed to be parody accounts? Most of these so-called parodies don’t even capture Will Ferrell’s sense of humor. But many of them are funny. So why are the people behind the accounts hiding behind ‘Will Ferrell’ instead of getting their own fame?

4. Fake Ted Twitter Accounts Ted is a f@cking teddy bear. Why. Are. You. Following. A. Teddy. Bear. Besides, they exists solely for sponsored tweets. Again, you’re following a teddy bear.

5. “Facts” Twitter Accounts Most of these “facts” are fake. But people see it on the internet and think it’s real. And quote it. And repeat it. I quit.

Dear internet, I am your people, and I’m here to help. Before following someone on Twitter, click on a page, look for a “verified” check. If it’s there, follow. If not, do me a favor – quit RT’ing this mess in my timeline.

I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.

Sources: YouTube , Dirty Pretty Thangs , Awesomely Luvvie , Money For Sweats , Lee Treble , Steen Fox , Twitter , Celebrity Café , IMDB