Dear America: don’t fret, you are perfectly well prepared for some football
This Monday, like last Monday and apparently every week from here on out, you will begin your evening wholly unprepared for some football.
Now, there are lots of people who can be blamed for this: Fox & Friends for lending any credence to the political opinions of Hank Williams, Jr.; ESPN for reacting to the ramblings of a severely brain damaged man; or, well, Hank himself. Now, due to his mangled understanding of the First Amendment, Hank packed up the only thing that made him relevant outside of being ‘Hank Sr.’s far less talented son’ and gone home.
Now America, you’re thinking, ‘but it’s sports! It’s tradition! What will I do without my theme song?’ Well, I’ve got some good news – this is actually the theme of Monday Night Football. Plus, “All My Rowdy Friends” was originally slated to be discontinued in 2005 when MNF moved from ABC to ESPN.
So America, stop crying into your crappy beer and wipe the Cheeto dust off your fingers. I am your people, and I’ll get you through missing your anthem. First of all, am I the only one that noticed between Hank’s song, Faith Hill’s Sunday Night Football theme and Big & Rich’s College GameDay opening, football is always introduced by country music? Seize the moment and maybe you (or your American Idol reject Cousin Pookie) can fill the void by proposing a new opening song (preferably of the non-country genre.) Also, be happy that in America, MNF football overshadows its intro music. Which is more than can be said for the crisis that Canada had to endure.
I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.