Dear Evelyn: Well, isn’t this the groupie calling the tramp a skank
Girl, bye. I’m quite done with your publicity stunts. First, trying to sell T-shirts with “you’re a non m—f—in factor,” then threatening to quit Twitter, and now…trying to reinvent yourself in Boston? As your “fiancé” (I give this situation the side eye) would say, chile pleeeez. Tell the truth – after trying to call out Royce on Basketball Wives, you have been revealed as the President, Queen and CEO of all groupies.
Let’s see. You broke off your 10-year engagement to Antoine Walker right around the time he went bankrupt. On Basketball Wives, you dated your personal trainer, who seemed like a really nice guy – until Chad Ocho Cinco came calling. And of course, all of this was preceded by your fling with Kenny Anderson. And in your “I’m not a gold-digging whore” article for The Boston Herald, you drop this gem:
“Listen, first of all, I met Antoine in New York. I’m not one of those girls who chase. I’m not sitting in front of the hotel. This is how my life played out for me,” she said. “When I started dating my ex (Walker), once you date one, you’re labeled. It doesn’t bother me. I didn’t chase Chad. It’s just something that happened.”
Again – you were with Kenny before Antoine, when both of them (and Eric Williams) were playing for the Celtics. So let me re-phrase that quote if I may:
I first heard of Kenny Anderson when I was watching MTV. He was on because he married a chick from The Real World, and I wanted her lifestyle. But I felt bad because he was married, so I moved on to his single, richer teammate, Antoine Walker, who Kenny introduced me to when they were in town playing the Knicks.
And I have to give you props for that one. You have mastered the art of getting 2 for 1 with athletes. After Mo and Kita seemed to tear you apart – seemingly unprovoked – in a red carpet interview, the truth came out. While dating Chad, you slept with T.O. Girl, get that money! (Oh, wait) And now you’re trying to get a double date with The Power Couple of Boston (Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen), since it’s on to the next even richer, married man.
Well people may call you a ho, Evelyn, but I am your people, and I say, capitalize on your skankitude. I propose starting a show called Groupie 101 co-hosted by Superhead. Give thirsty, gold digging hoochies tips on how to trap a baller. Or work as a guest columnist for Baller Alert. You’re welcome.
I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.