Jay Mariotti: it’s time for ESPN to fine, suspend and fire you

Dear Jay Mariotti,

Felony domestic violence? Really? Not the holier-than-thou blowhard commentator who will go in on any athlete for getting so much as a parking ticket. Fresh off of calling Major League Baseball “soft” on domestic violence for their treatment of K-Rod’s domestic violence arrest, you spent the night at the 77th Street Station. Obviously, your hypocritical bullisht was not lost on the athletes you cover.

Despite going upside your girlfriend’s head, you’re the luckiest man alive. This happened on a Friday night, at the end of ESPN’s commentary cycle. Furthermore, you didn’t have to face the music Monday; courtesy of the Little League World Series, not only is your show Around the Horn off the air for the week, but so it Pardon the Interruption, Jim Rome is Burning, The Scott Van Pelt Show…in fact, the only shows playing this week are Mike and Mike and SportsNation. And as for Mike and Mike, Greeney and Golic happened to be off Monday. So hopefully, people will forget by next week, right? You’d better pray Brett Favre will decide to retire again and jack up the news cycle.

Aside: Neither ESPN nor Fanhouse has commented on Mariotti’s arrest. Journalism FAIL on ESPN’s part. Aren’t they the ones always demanding a statement from athlete’s when they get in trouble (as they should)? So why are they quiet all of a sudden? The only ESPN contributor to call him out on this has been, of all people Dan LeBatard. Shouldn’t Ariel from The Little Mermaid Rachel Nichols be on his front lawn, demanding a comment and putting his place of residence on blast? You know ESPN is happy they part ways with Stephen A. Smith.

You’ve burned bridges at the Sun Times and lately you’ve been reporting from what appears to be your adopted hometown of LA instead of Chicago. Since J.A. Adande is ATH’s LA correspondent, ESPN doesn’t need to keep you around. I can’t help your legal situation, but I am your people, I’ll try to save your career. Your next step is easy – take your over-tweezed eyebrows to cable news. All you need to do is be loud and have an opinion, they don’t care whether or not you’re qualified. And the animated corpse of Larry King proves that you don’t even have to be alive. Who cares if you’re a sports guy? Keith Olbermann hosted SportsCenter before he started talking isht on MSNBC. And I have yet to hear the blonde chick on Fox & Friends make a coherent sentence, but she probably makes millions. Scandal, what scandal? If Elliot Spitzer and Sarah Palin can be on-air contributors, why can’t you? Just keep your hands to yourself.

I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.

Sources: Twitter , ESPN , LA Times , Fanhouse , YouTube , The Big Lead , Black Sports Online (pic)