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Jersey Shore: Mental giants

by Your People on July 12th, 2010

Dear Snooki ‘n ‘em:

There are plenty of reasons you could have given for voting for McCain. You’re for smaller government, you want immigration reform, he was the cute one. This quote didn’t come from some silly-assed interview with The Insider or The Soup, this was a legit (?) interview with McCain’s daughter Meghan, in the Tina Brown-founded Daily Beast.

Okay, granted this interview might not have been totally serious. After all, it was all inspired by this tweet:

@Sn00ki u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama’s tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen! 1:29 PM Jun 9th via web Retweeted by you and 100+ others

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SenJohnMcCain
John McCain

That’s right, melanoma survivor Sen. John McCain is critical of the tax that is intended to pay for universal health care, including the treatment of cancer. And I doubt this is so much an “attack on Guidos and Guidettes” as it is meant to have people reconsider a practice that increases skin cancer rates by 55%. Furthermore, this concept is hardly original; this why cigarette taxes are sky high. However, Snooki, you, The Situation, The Scenario and The Scene1 are whining and begrudgingly adopting spray-tanning, despite getting the same bronzing effect without the death risk. In short, you all look like a bunch of complete idiots.

But I am your people, Jersey Shore kids, and here is my advice – run with this. Yes, you look stupid, but this is how you got famous, right? In fact, do oil spill commentary on CNN, or better yet, speak out in favor of ending unemployment benefits on Fox & Friends. Heck, if you people can get high paying jobs with no qualifications, why can’t people with degrees? Continue the tradition of random reality “stars” letting their new fame get to their heads. And once you’ve blown all this new money, I’ll be looking for you on The Surreal Life or Celebrity Rehab (both are paying gigs!) in five years.

I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.

1. Why no, I don’t watch Jersey Shore, why do you ask?

Sources: The Daily Beast , MTV , Twitter , CNN , National Cancer Institute , Popcrunch