Dear Kendra: About Those Fifty ‘Leven Sex Tapes

Dear Kendra,

Let me start this letter by saying I loved The Girls Next Door. It was my guilty pleasure; I never missed an episode. Without question, you were my favorite. I’ve also seen several episodes of your new show Kendra. Even with your new domestic lifestyle, you were just as funny and airheaded as when you were running around the Playboy Mansion naked.

But now you have a sex tape out, about which you said (via Celebitchy):

“I was just a normal girl living a normal life in San Diego, California, with my boyfriend who I was going to eventually marry,” Kendra said. “Of course we had sex like every couple does and every now and then we would videotape it. There’s a lot of couples who do that. At that time I wasn’t a celebrity. I didn’t even know I was going to become a celebrity.”

Now 24, Kendra is married to Hank Baskett and they have a baby son. She said she is angry at her ex for disrupting her family.

“It broke my heart because how can you do that when I have a baby?” she said. “I have a kid. I have a husband. It just sucks.”

Okay, I get it. You’ve moved on. You’re repackaging yourself as this sweet wholesome mom. Which I would buy, but (via Deceiver)…

Kendra Wilkinson successfully negotiated $680,000 in royalties plus 50 percent of profits from Vivid Entertainment upon the release of Kendra Exposed, which drops today.

Apparently, this isn’t just any sex tape. It’s a box set with multiple partners, deleted scenes, bonus footage, audition reel…you get the point. So your excuse that your boyfriend sold the tape doesn’t explain several all-out orgies, now does it? Furthermore, between the time you broke up with Hef and your marriage to Hank, you admitted to cheating on Hef (via NYDN):

“Bridget told me that she’s been faithful all these years, and I was like, ‘How the hell can you do that?’ I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being.”

So here’s what you’re going to do about the situation. Embrace it. Let’s keep it real, your husband’s career highlight is dropping the ball at the Super Bowl. That was the only meaningful playing time he’s ever had. And you retired from posing nude to posing in bikinis. (Is that a promotion or a demotion?) Both of your careers are coming to an end, and you need a way to make money to take care of the baby. That’s right Kendra, it’s time to do porn. Plenty of porn stars are married with children. Look at Jenna Jameson, she’s worth tens of millions of dollars and it’s not like her like is a total train wreck. If she can get rich coming from nowhere, you can get even richer since you’re already famous. You’ve done Playboy, reality TV and had several orgies. You are not above whoring yourself out for the right price.

I am your people. Read the comments for advice from my people.

Sources:
DListed (photo), Celebitchy , Deceiver , NYDN